My friend K and I went to this art show at a gallery in the lower east side the other day. My main motivation was to drink some free wine and check out the artsy people who go to these events, and their outfits. To me, drinking free alcohol whilst being surrounded by pretty things, pretty people, interesting things, and interesting people seems like a good way to start any night. And it was! As always, K and I were on a quest for meeting new friends. Eventually, a guy came up to us and started chatting. He also introduced us to this other guy, a friend maybe, who was sporting a dali mustache.
A “waxed mustache” seems to be a thing now amongst self-proclaimed stylish/hip New Yorkers – youth and oldth alike. Who knows why or how these things resurge as a trend. No offence to Salvador Dali, but that shit’s gross and nowadays pretty unoriginal too. I mean, it’s been done! So I do wonder what the rationale is for making such a grotesque statement. On your face, no less. This guy at the gallery is not the first one I’ve seen sporting the trend. I’ve already spotted dozens in libraries, cafés, universities, restaurants, bars, the L train, harlem… there’s really no escape.
I am generally a facial hair enthousiast but when I was talking to this peculiar guy at the gallery, I noticed tiny dust particles trapped within the wax as well as mysterious crystals sprinkled throughout his long, erect mustache. Maybe more dust, drugs, sweat, or solidified wax? Either way, it was quite repulsive.
I feel bad criticizing this guy for his appearance because he was very nice, he seemed like an interesting photographer and gave us many tips on what to do and where to eat in LA, which is where he was from, sorta. A walking cliché this guy, eh? Well so am I, probably. But anyways, I also feel like a jerk because people, I guess, should do and wear whatever the fuck they want as long as they don’t hurt anybody. Individualism! Assuming that his waxed mustache does not qualify as a sharp object, he was far from doing so. Still, I am advocate for the death of the trend.